My Best Friend

(B):Hello, what you doing here, who are you? The (Flying Dutchman): Het jy my tv ?
(B): My codename is Mikhail Breznikov, but you can call me Bongi
(The Flying Dutchman): *snort* nice name, where'd you get it? the Waterfront?
(B): Don't you think I've been mocked enough, because my father, Sipho, did not put a click in my name?
(The Flying Dutchman): Versin!
(B): I was taken by the Russians as a slave, but I maintain my Sowetan heritage with this afro.
(The Flying Dutchman): Verstaan jy Afrikaans?
(B): stop! English only - I do not understand your language.
(The Flying Dutchman): mm? why am I here?
(The Flying Dutchman): Ja waars ons kinders?
(B): I said English. Can you handle it?
(The Flying Dutchman): Hmm?
(B): Because you are cute and i like to lick the chocolate starfish if you are wondering why my voice is not in sync with my lips, it is because when I was a little boy my best friend Jacob Zuma taught me how to talk shit and just like him I have mastered it, and I now talk through my ass as well.